Judy Price is Writing

As I have been in a natural setting for the past week, it seems appropriate that the first post on my return would refer to this respite. 

A good friend has a family cottage there, which she has been frequenting since she was a child, and now I have gratefully been included in this experience.

It was not only a cooler locale than the city, but also more heavenly, with the moon and stars shining bigger and brighter than ever!

This particular lake is healthy, as evidenced by minnows swimming at my feet, aquatic plants hosting ‘mating wheels’ of electric blue damselflies, and a variety of ducks and loons swimming and diving around me.

Being immersed in nature, my spirit felt free as I connected with everything.

Simply a magical experience!

Back in the city on a rainy day, which more easily elicits a rather melancholy and nostalgic mood, I am finding the real possibility that I am experiencing withdrawal.

Here I am without the delicious desserts my friend prepared and we both enjoyed, the daily afternoon margaritas or more likely bottle of wine that we shared, the companionship of being with a friend, and most of all nature.

It’s clear to me that I must decide where to relocate so that I will never need to experience withdrawal from nature again.

Minnows swimming at my feet

'Electric blue' Northern Bluet Damselfly mating wheel

 

As I sit at the computer on a beautiful, hot summer’s day in July, I recall the hospital room I sat in one year ago today.

My mother lay there, as her spirit was leaving her shell of an earthly body.

The only thing I could do was watch, as I spoke softly in her ear, and encourage the staff to make her as comfortable as possible. 

She was sleeping, and then she was gone.

This has been a long road for twelve months, and one journey I know will never really end until I meet her again on the other side.

In the meantime, I will relish the signs she sends, and live my life to the fullest, enjoying the moments.

The waves do wash over me occasionally, yet definitely not as harshly as in the beginning.  I seem to be able to let myself go with them now, and surface calmer.

Yesterday I felt anxious and sad.  I couldn’t understand the reason, until I realized that my body was remembering how I felt twelve months ago.

The sympathy cards are laid to rest now, with my Mom.

The memories will always stay in my heart. 

My hope is, that as time passes, the sadness will lessen with the arrival of each anniversary, and the love I feel for my mother will infinitely grow, encompassing others.

Today with women marrying later, if at all, they are faced with the dilemma of whether or not to have children, with or without a mate. 

A woman’s ‘biological clock’, in large part, will determine whether or not she will become a mother. 

Whereas, a man can most likely become a father at almost any age.

Of course, a woman, a man or a couple could choose to adopt, opt for fertility intervention or surrogacy if faced with the inability to procreate.

There are many alternatives available today for women and men to consider that were not accessible to previous generations.

The main issue is whether or not one is prepared to become a parent, with all of the sacrifices involved, as well as the rewards of course.

Educating oneself through reading, babysitting, and caring for and enjoying other people’s children does not give a ‘true’ picture of a ‘24-7’ parental responsibility, especially required in infancy, formative childhood, and adolescent years.

Subconsciously, the norm is to repeat the parenting behaviour of one’s own parents, as this is what was modelled in one’s own childhood.

It takes a conscious effort to change and learn new patterns of behaviour in order to parent one’s own children differently, if that is the appropriate thing to do. 

The other issue to consider is whether or not one would choose to be a parent without the ‘right’ partner.

It is difficult enough to parent a child while sharing the responsibility, and even more challenging to do so alone. 

Without a loving, committed relationship with a partner who is capable of assuming a parenting role, one needs to think carefully before becoming a parent oneself.

This is an individual decision; however, one needs to be realistic before entering into the lifelong commitment of parenthood. 

There is no option of ‘divorce’ in the parent-child relationship.

To my American friends in the USA, here in Canada, and abroad, I wish you all a very Happy Independence Day.

The red, white and blue with stars and stripes is flying high and waving proudly, as you embody and demonstrate what patriotic pride means.

As a child, born and raised into my teen-hood in a ‘border’ city, I was influenced and awed by the patriotism shown my American neighbours, and still am.

Your firework displays always outshone ours.   

I recall sitting on the Canadian side of the Detroit river bank on the fourth of July, enjoying the view as you magically lit the night sky spectacularly, and I thank you!