Judy Price is Writing

Through every aspect of life, in each type of relationship, the ability to listen to and to hear what another person is saying, and to clearly and honestly impart one’s own perspective, needs or desires to the other, will ultimately determine the viability and health of the alliance.

This is especially true of an emotional relationship when two people are establishing respective roles as a couple, with perhaps the common goal of building a life together.

Whether the couple is discussing mundane issues such as household task division, planning a trip together, explaining work responsibilities and how that might impact other couple activities, relating stories regarding past experiences, making any important decisions which can impact their lives together, enjoying shared activities in and out of the bedroom, or just talking about the day, the crucial element to ‘being on the same wavelength’ is to know how to communicate effectively with one other.

Communication is a learned skill, not an innate response, contrary to the belief that some may have.  It is a required course for any student learning to be a professional counselor.

Some people learn how to practice this skill more easily and quickly than others, probably due to previous exposure to good communicators as role models.

There are various types of communication which involve verbal, written, and non-verbal skills for those with normal sight, hearing and speech capabilities.

Other types of communication for people lacking one or more of the above senses involve learning specialized skills.

This article will deal with basic communication skills for people possessing the senses of sight, sound, and speech.

An important point to remember is that no one is a ‘mind reader’.  No matter how comfortable two people are with one another, unless one is ‘psychic’, there is no way to ‘know’ the other person’s thoughts without being told.

Over time spent together learning and observing one another’s habitual ways of behaving and thinking about a variety of issues, it is possible to ‘finish one another’s sentences’ accurately, a good deal of the time. 

Knowledge of the other person gained through perception and good communication skills can lead to a form of ‘telepathy’ between two people.

Before that can occur it is worthwhile to learn how to communicate and express oneself effectively with one another.

To be continued . . .

Here it is August first and I haven’t had a good manicure since I was in England during the month of  May!

In fact, I have been caring for my own nails since my return.

I have to say that I had the very best nail shaping and cuticle care I have ever experienced at a nail salon in Eastbourne England.

My Canadian manicure only survived one week into my trip!

After mostly daily hiking using trekking poles, at the beginning of my third week in England I was ready to be pampered, and asked the waitress at my hotel who she recommended for good nail service and value.

Armed with her advice, I quickly set out to find this nail salon.

Now for some inexplicable reason I was looking for a sign that would read, The Nail Ferry! 

Guess I thought my nails would be transformed through being carried away and ferried back in a renewed state. 

This reaoning must have been the resulting  influence of residing in a seaside town on the English Channel, coupled with my prior visit to Dover, where I watched all manner of ferries crossing between England and France.

However, the sign read, The Nail Fairy. 

Even better, I thought, as my favourite character in Peter Pan is Tinkerbell, and she is magical perfection in my estimation.

I walked into a bright, modern, airy space and sat down to wait my turn, meanwhile watching as various women were receiving hand and foot care by men.  Only men.

I may be less worldly than many others, and that is a fact, but in all of my travels at home and abroad I have never had a manicure by a man, only women.

As I sat down to my manicure, I was a little skeptical, closely watching the man who held the future of my nails in his hands. 

He did things differently, and the result was simply magical.

I truly wish the The Nail Fairy would frequent my city, and set up the very best nail salon ever!

Those who are fortunate enough to have  lucrative careers in this tough economic climate, may find that it is difficult to balance their workloads with their social lives, especially if they are in committed relationships.

This has always been a challenging issue for couples.  

However, roles were more clearly defined in past generations, with the woman normally being the nurturer in the relationship and the man being the provider.

Today, both partners might be working equally hard simultaneously, or one or the other might have a heavier workload at a different time, creating less togetherness as a couple.

As for any other issue in a relationship, spoken communication is vital to ensure both partners are aware of the stress each might be faced with at work.

Decisions regarding how this situation will be handled will determine the success of balancing work and relationship needs with one another.

When one of the partners has less energy and time to devote to the other, due to work demands,  it is important that the other partner have interests and friends outside the relationship as part of his/her support system. 

In fact, it is unrealistic to think that one’s partner can meet all of one’s needs in the relationship at any time. 

It is equally important that he/she be available when his/her partner has a lull in work, in order to be there and relate to one another, even if it is just to sit quietly together, have a shared meal or cuddle.

If one partner is a workaholic then the relationship could be doomed, unless this addictive issue is acknowledged and addressed successfully. 

An individual who is driven and obsessed by work has underlying psychological motivators that need to be uncovered if change is to occur, which can then help the person and the relationship to grow successfully.  

There can be no partnership with only one person contributing, as it takes two to communicate and maintain a relationship; albeit the time each invests can shift from 50/50 to 80/20 at some points throughout their lives together.  

The norm is a 60/40 contribution of time and energy investment flowing between the two partners most of the time.  Rarely is each able to contribute equally to the relationship at all times.      

Since communication is the key to ensure that both partners know what is happening with one another, and to make decisions to attain the balance needed for the relationship to survive and thrive, I will devote another entire article to this topic.

As I have been in a natural setting for the past week, it seems appropriate that the first post on my return would refer to this respite. 

A good friend has a family cottage there, which she has been frequenting since she was a child, and now I have gratefully been included in this experience.

It was not only a cooler locale than the city, but also more heavenly, with the moon and stars shining bigger and brighter than ever!

This particular lake is healthy, as evidenced by minnows swimming at my feet, aquatic plants hosting ‘mating wheels’ of electric blue damselflies, and a variety of ducks and loons swimming and diving around me.

Being immersed in nature, my spirit felt free as I connected with everything.

Simply a magical experience!

Back in the city on a rainy day, which more easily elicits a rather melancholy and nostalgic mood, I am finding the real possibility that I am experiencing withdrawal.

Here I am without the delicious desserts my friend prepared and we both enjoyed, the daily afternoon margaritas or more likely bottle of wine that we shared, the companionship of being with a friend, and most of all nature.

It’s clear to me that I must decide where to relocate so that I will never need to experience withdrawal from nature again.

Minnows swimming at my feet

'Electric blue' Northern Bluet Damselfly mating wheel